Hot Dog Appreciation Day: Do the Bisexual Bob 🌭

It’s Hot Dog Appreciation Day again, and we have plenty of hot dogs to appreciate. Slowly, sensually appreciate while making hard eye contact with Terry, who will never invite us to another barbecue again.

Let’s check in on The Comments!

First to Sissyneck Corner, where we’re pretty sure a raccoon is slowly but surely learning to read but we’re not going to worry until she gets math down.

He wasn’t the only one wrestling with the hunks Seanbaby brought to the table. Nick Ralston was just doing it in a different sense of the word.

What is our mission on this site, if not to accidentally trigger assassination plots? If it’s good enough for 4chan, it’s good enough for us and Christopher Horne:

Steven Clark supplies us with further evidence why you never trust a man that teaches karate, even though we have so much already.

Over to The Discord, where we’re talking about the ultimate forbidden fruit: Pennsylvania Peach.

Science God Q Alchemy finally, finally explains where the fuck Tingle came from:

We crowdsource our first piece of Hot Dog merch:

Dr. W. Sanguine, Double-Phud discusses our favorite haircut AND favorite Fight Club character, Bisexual Bob:

Alpha Scientist Javo revisits the PS2 version of NARC, where drugs give you superpowers unlike in stupid reality, where they just give you unearned confidence and unkillable erections:

The whole community comes together to absolutely savage the corpse of Shirley Q. Liquor:

They really try to nail down the physics of money shotting the void:

And actually succeed at nailing down the art of summoning new Hot Doggers:

Finally, gellaho remembers Mac Tonight, the ill-advised McDonald’s mascot whose whole schtick was that he wanted to fuck you tonight and buy you a consolatory McMuffin tomorrow:

There can be no winners now that Mac Tonight is skanking up the sheets in our brains... but what the hell, let’s give it to gellaho for reminding us all of the moon who never wears a condom. Congratulations! You will take custody of what used to be the most precious artwork known to man, but is now merely a record of our hubris.

For defacing a masterpiece, Adrienne and Greg, our first joint winners, will also be our first joint cautionary examples. They’re going to get unceremoniously hucked into the PoxCo rendering vats, where they’ll be boiled down and their fats used to lubricate the machines that make the janky Russian assault rifles Steven Seagal shills for.

You folks are, as always, the best. And if anyone ever questions that, you call us. We’ll give Mac Tonight their Snapchat and tell him he’s looking especially bulbous today.