Comments
Picture, if Lorelai and Emily had lived together during Rory's upbringing. Now picture, if Richard had a stroke, lived over a decade with dementia, and died when Rory became a teenager, leaving these three strong-willed, stubborn, poor communicators without any sort of a buffer. That was MY upbringing 🤣😂😅 So I see both sides of every Lorelai & Emily debate cuz I oft found myself in the position of being their mediator. In my case, it would've been impossible for my mom to strike out on her own, though she was older (29) when she had me, due to her various mental and physical health challenges. As such, every moment of their relationship was transactional. From my mom's standpoint, my grandma was a self-righteous snob with a savior complex. From my grandma's standpoint, my mom was an ungrateful, exhausting, anger-ball. And yet, through all of that, they both loved each other fiercely and they loved me even more. My mom died in 2007, my grandma in 2013. In 2024, I turned 40. In 2030, I will have lived over half my life without the luxury of hearing them bicker at each other anymore. I love this show because I lived this show. Every moment of every rewatch is nostalgic in ways I simply can't find anywhere else. People always have opinions on who is right and who is wrong. But we can be entirely right in our point of view while still being entirely wrong in how we treat the person with the opposing viewpoint. So at the end of the day, who is "right" and who is "wrong" is much more complicated than who has the better argument. Lorelai and Emily are both wrong for how they treat one another. However, they're too focused on how badly they think they're being mistreated by the other person to see their own contributions to the conflict. Emily adds fuel to the fire with her harsh criticisms, judgement, and snide comments. Lorelai adds fuel to the fire by constantly viewing Emily as a person who is about to hurt her again. If I was Lorelai, I wouldn't feel as though I owed Emily any kindness. If I was Emily, I would dwell on any small kindnesses I had ever offered, in an attempt to justify the rest. Emily needs to gain self-awareness and learn how to forgive herself for driving Lorelai away because that is where all of her "anger" comes from. Lorelai needs to learn how to forgive her mother for projecting not only her "anger" onto her but also the expectations that Emily herself grew up under and forwarded onto Lorelai. I know the term "generational trauma" has become somewhat of a buzzword in recent years, but it is an entirely accurate descriptor of what we see in the Gilmore Girls. Hopefully one day these ladies will find a therapist who doesn't suck. 😂🤷🏻🙏🏻❤️☺️
Sorcha Miana
2024-11-16 16:27:33 +0000 UTCI do love that they use Lorelei and Emily's relationship as a counter-balance to Lorelei and Rory's relationship. As a daughter, I understand Lorelei wanting to do it on her own, and as a mom of young adults, I feel for Emily - she has a very limited set of tools in her emotional tool bag, and money is easy for her. My favorite scenes are always the ones where Lorelei and Emily are able, even if for just a moment, break down those walls a little bit. But yeah... she was totally right to explain to Rory that she had no business skirting around her.
Kirstie Brote
2023-11-01 18:10:25 +0000 UTCExcept we continue to see the lengths Lorelai will go to to keep her mother out of her life. If Emily's offer was genuinely out of help, didn't have strings, and if Lorelai could trust her mother to be proud of the life she made for herself rather than judgmental, it would bring them closer instead of this maintenance of the status quo. I'm not saying Emily is a bad person but I'm rarely on her side for how she treats Lorelai.
Elizabeth Gates
2023-11-01 11:34:32 +0000 UTCIt could be argued that both of them have learned from this experience. Rather than hold anything over Lorelai's head after learning she fears it, Emily simply increases her presence in Lorelai's life, and Lorelai doesn't object or seem hurt by her doing it that way. It seems by the end to be a case of mutual self-acceptance rather than malice. Which is in line with what Amy Sherman-Palladino said recently about families always being themselves and therefore being endlessly material for new writing.
Ed Green
2023-11-01 06:13:42 +0000 UTCI don't think Lorelai was wrong at any point in this episode. As someone with a contentious relationship with my own mother, you try your hardest not to owe them anything because if they are paying for your life, they assume the right to judge your life. She would have gone to Emily on her own if she absolutely needed to (and did), but she did have the right to exhaust all of her other options first because she KNOWS her mother and any help does come with strings. Not just things like the DAR meeting, but just the ability to hold the fact that Lorelai needed help over her head.
Elizabeth Gates
2023-10-31 22:58:39 +0000 UTC
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