Ah, that ending scene never gets easier! One thing I can say for Gordon Walker ( besides the fact that Sterling K. Brown is a fuckin incredible actor??? This is Us compared to this?? whoa ((fun trivia: Jared P. said if they ever recast for Sam, he'd be down for Sterling playing our boy)) ) --- I do believe Gordon was true in his beliefs. As in, I think he would have genuinely killed himself after killing Sam. His obsession at that point was ridiculously out of control, though I suppose if you believe the guy is gonna end the world, it makes sense. It's tragic watching both Sam and Dean bracing themselves for Dean's death in their own ways. Sam, being more resolute, confident, even callous about what needs to be done, and Dean more directly with teaching skills and the like.